Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Sorry, Pringles, but Ramens want their Chickens back.

Right, I'm constantly amused by the latest ridiculous products dreamed up by such "food" companies. Endless absurdity fuel...totally taser.
Then this happened:

Pringles Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Flavor

"Everyone’s had those late-night moments pondering life’s deepest questions such as: “What would happen if ramen and Pringles combined?” Well, wonder no more because the answer is straight-up deliciousness. Straight out of a Pringles can. Available for a limited time this summer exclusively at Dollar General locations nationwide."
- pringles.com

I got a kick out many of their previous efforts such as:
-Grilled Shrimp Flavor
-Bruschetta Flavor
-Soft Shell Crab Flavor
-Yogurt... Bacon Caesar Salad, Cola... Blueberry and Hazelnut? (Actually that one makes me gag when I think about it.)

But who the fuck loves Top Ramen so much that they wanna eat a uniformly curved disc of dried potato puree that tastes like it? Maybe they love the flavor but find that ramen noodles are just too wet? I mean if you want Top Ramen, then why not just buy Top Ramen for fucks sake? It's like $.25 a pack or something, where as a can of Pringles is like $2.00-ish?

Finally, why is this incredible limited time only product exclusively available at Dollar General stores?!

I do have to give Pringles a hi five for their old commercials, where they pushed their not-so-oily quality by showing a guy eating a bag of normal potato chips wiping his "chip hand" across the chest of his silk shirt. Very taser!

*To whom it may concern: If Pringles is hiring people to come up with this stuff, please tell me where to submit my resume.



Sunday, February 25, 2018

a kennedy wishlist...

Sure, the holidays have passed, as well as my birthday, but I feel gift giving knows no season.
So....
Here are 2 items I want, need. No, actually just want:

1. ROOMBA!
This would be the perfect pet for me. Considering my lifestyle, animals are a non-starter and I continually turn down offers of free plants to kill. 
Yes, my studio looks exactly like this, minus the kid, the woman, the furniture, the plant, the rug, and the hardwood floor.
Thought about Alexa, but it's creepy and I obviously still remember how to type, plus the tile floors of my studio don't clean themselves.
Remembering not to step on something and occasionally glimpsing an autonomous thing roaming about the rooms both inform my sense "compassion".
Some models talk when upset, which I like. Already have a name in mind: Coat Rack.

2. A new foot scrubbing brush thing.

As a pedestrian, feet are essential to maintain. The handle on my old one broke.
As a last ditch measure, I resorted to using a Stanley rasp. Actually, pretty effective! 
But, the right tool for the right job.

*Cognac and Hendricks gin are, of course, always welcome.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

the/oral: oral music histories and interesting interviews

THEORAL - "...a collection of oral history of the creative music scene (improvised, experimental, new music, jazz, &c.)..."

Though only 2 books deep into the current 13 published, the words have thus far offered up views for terrific consideration which, for me, expand beyond the zones of thought on creative music, in terrific outbound directions.
Taser reading for sure, incredible lineup in the collection, highly recommended.
theoral #12: hamid drake/william parker + theoral #11: laura altman/monica brooks/andrew choate
The Oral hovers around Nickelsdorf, near the Austria-Hungarian border, which flares up annually w/ the outstanding Konfrontation Festival (which I sadly missed an op to attend last year).

As things happen, I had the opportunity to perform a piece w/ Andrew Choate at an event featuring a talk by the/oral editor Philipp Schmickl last year in Los Angeles.

Terrific show, and a wonderful hang afterwards at my studio where in a grand twist, Philipp and I discovered that we share the same birthday, same year, same day: 01/01/1980! He and Karin are amazing folks who I hope to meet again. Here or there!

loafered.

thought i was hitting peak loafer...
thought last year's "el nino" would quell the addiction, at least a tad....
but no.
people often comment on the mound of loafers near the door in my studio. little do they know, like an iceberg, the bulk of the collection is hidden in the closet.
loafer hound for life.

special shoe envy award goes to lunch skirt for these totally taser green flats.
for some reason they never fail to improve my mood and general outlook on life.